{"id":11,"date":"2015-02-11T21:11:00","date_gmt":"2015-02-12T03:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.seekingthestill.com\/?p=11"},"modified":"2020-06-26T11:28:19","modified_gmt":"2020-06-26T16:28:19","slug":"make-me-broken-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/make-me-broken-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Make Me Broken"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I remember it well. \u00a0Just over a year ago I was driving the girls to school. \u00a0The sun was shining and my heart was full. \u00a0I had never felt better or happier. \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=BGkmPeVpBbI\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">A song came on the radio<\/a>, and these words swirled in my head and my heart&#8230;<br \/>\n<i><br \/>\n<\/i><br \/>\n<i>Make me broken, so I can be healed&#8230;<\/i><br \/>\n<i>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Make me empty, so I can be filled&#8230;<\/i><br \/>\n<i><br \/>\n<\/i><br \/>\nI remember having a secret thought,<br \/>\n<i>My life has been so easy. \u00a0I am so blessed. \u00a0Will I ever be broken?\u00a0<\/i><br \/>\n<i><br \/>\n<\/i><br \/>\nI remember it vividly because it was such a shocking thought. \u00a0Almost like I was daring the fates. \u00a0As though I had been cheated from some strange, beautiful pain. \u00a0I was feeling so good, so capable, and so in control of my life that my psyche was foolishly saying <i>bring it on.<\/i> The haunting song painted brokenness as poetic. \u00a0And my romantic soul didn&#8217;t want to miss out. How arrogant. And how very naive.<\/p>\n<p>Because, of course, I WAS broken. \u00a0Very broken, indeed. \u00a0I was so skilled at hiding my brokenness that I didn&#8217;t even know I had it. \u00a037 years of pretending and shoving my pain and brokenness into the deep\u00a0recesses of my soul was about to be Just. Too. Much. \u00a0I did not know I was on an inevitable, steep, downhill journey to more suffering than I dared dream possible. \u00a0My rose-colored glasses would soon shatter. \u00a0My carefully crafted persona would falter. \u00a0I would fail, breakdown, face my hurts, habits, hang-ups, and remove my mask for the very first time.\u00a0 Little did I know that the words of this lovely song were an eerie foreshadow of what was to come.<\/p>\n<p>And yet. \u00a0In that moment, I was oblivious to the monster that lay in wait. \u00a0My monster. \u00a0My fear. \u00a0My sin.\u00a0 Me.\u00a0\u00a0I sang with a happy heart and dreamed of what it would be like to be so broken&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><i>I&#8217;m praying for the words to share what happens next in the story! \u00a0Check back with me, soon.<\/i><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.blogger.com\/\">Keep Making Me<\/a> by Sidewalk Prophets<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i><i>Make me broken<\/i><\/i><\/div>\n<p><i>\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i><i>So I can be healed<\/i><\/i><\/div>\n<p><i>\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i><i>&#8216;Cause I&#8217;m so calloused<\/i><\/i><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>And now I can&#8217;t feel<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>I want to run to You<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>With heart wide open<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>Make me broken<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>Make me empty<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>So I can be filled<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>&#8216;Cause I&#8217;m still holding<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>Onto my will<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>And I&#8217;m completed<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>When you are with me<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>Make me empty<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>&#8216;Til You are my one desire<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>&#8216;Til You are my one true love<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>&#8216;Til You are my breath, my everything<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>Lord, please keep making me<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>Make me lonely<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>So I can be Yours<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>&#8216;Til I want no one<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>More than You, Lord<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>&#8216;Cause in the darkness<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>I know You will hold me<\/i><\/div>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\"><i>Make me lonely<\/i><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I remember it well. \u00a0Just over a year ago I was driving the girls to school. \u00a0The sun was shining and my heart was full. \u00a0I had never felt better or happier. \u00a0A song came on the radio, and these words swirled in my head and my heart&#8230; Make me broken, so I can be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":53635,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,1],"tags":[2],"class_list":["post-11","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety","category-uncategorized","tag-date-with-destiny-series"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - 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