{"id":14,"date":"2015-01-15T18:05:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-16T00:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.seekingthestill.com\/?p=14"},"modified":"2020-08-15T13:20:37","modified_gmt":"2020-08-15T18:20:37","slug":"2015-year-of","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/2015-year-of\/","title":{"rendered":"2015: The Year of ????"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/a>Today’s writing prompt from Bonnie Gray<\/a> is the infamous “Word of the Year” post. \u00a0Perhaps you’ve seen this phenomenon filling the blogosphere. \u00a0Instead of an itemized list of new year resolutions, you choose one word on which to focus as the days, weeks, and months of the year unfold.<\/p>\n

In true first-born fashion, I had my word all figured out. \u00a0Trust. \u00a0After all, wasn’t that the root of all my anxiety and insomnia issues this past year? The landslide effect of working too hard, worrying too much, and trying to maintain the facade of a life lived perfect had spun me right into an unfamiliar vortex of panic and exhaustion. \u00a0I could no longer trust my body or my mind, and trusting that God could fix such a big mess was a leap I seemed unable to take.<\/p>\n

So trust. \u00a0“Yes, that is it,” I thought. \u00a0“If I focus on trust in 2015, surely things will turn around.” \u00a0I envisioned a young child standing at the edge of a pool. A dad is gently coaxing the child to leave the solid ground under her feet and leap into the water to land in his arms. \u00a0I can see the thoughts tumbling in her young mind, weighing the risks and rewards, \u00a0And then…she does it. \u00a0She closes her eyes, bends her legs, and launches into the pool. \u00a0As her daddy twirls her around, she raises her arms in glee and can’t wait to do it once more. \u00a0I want to be that little girl, trusting my Heavenly Father enough to jump back in the pool. \u00a0But, as I considered what a year of trust would look like, I realized there is a precursor to the trust. \u00a0Before that little girl could leap off the edge, she needed to know that her daddy loved her. \u00a0Love is the beginning of trust, in fact I’d go so far as to say that you can’t have trust without it.<\/p>\n

I KNOW I am loved. \u00a0I know my family loves me. \u00a0I know my Heavenly Father loves me. \u00a0I know my Savior loves me. \u00a0I. \u00a0AM. \u00a0LOVED. \u00a0But I realized with a jolt that I don’t let myself FEEL loved. With the amount of love in my life, my love-quotient should be overflowing. \u00a0The Bible is full of passages that tell us how much God loves us. \u00a0How he wants to lavish us with love and give us our truest desires. \u00a0Love is the reason He couldn’t leave us in our brokenness. \u00a0The reason He sent His beloved Son.<\/p>\n

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. \u00a0John 3:16<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The entire Bible paints a picture of God’s love. \u00a0I know this. \u00a0I believe this. \u00a0So, why don’t I feel this? The God of the universe wants to overwhelm ME with love. \u00a0He wants me live life to the full. \u00a0To be so filled with His love that it is spilling over me and into the lives of others. \u00a0With love like that there is simply no room for fear or anxiety. \u00a0THAT’s the life I want to live! \u00a0I’m tired of living fear. \u00a0I’m tired of feeling that I don’t measure up. \u00a0I’m tired of isolating myself from the people that love me and want to know me. \u00a0I’m ready to break myself open, make myself vulnerable, give up every desire except one…to be loved.<\/p>\n

So that’s it. \u00a0In 2015, I am going to ask God to break down the walls that are preventing me from experiencing His love. \u00a0To open my heart, my mind, and all my senses to receive His love. \u00a0And in turn, to extend that love to others. \u00a0I’m ready to surrender. \u00a0To get myself out of the way. \u00a0I will stop asking for healing and begin asking only to truly FEEL and EXPERIENCE God’s love. \u00a0Fully. Completely. Undeservedly. And I will choose to believe that Love was the answer all along.<\/p>\n

2015: \u00a0The year of LOVE.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today’s writing prompt from Bonnie Gray is the infamous “Word of the Year” post. \u00a0Perhaps you’ve seen this phenomenon filling the blogosphere. \u00a0Instead of an itemized list of new year resolutions, you choose one word on which to focus as the days, weeks, and months of the year unfold. 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