I hear small feet skipping in and see a pair of brightly colored sneakers enter the bathroom stall next to me.\u00a0 Unexpected words are spoken into the stillness of a school bathroom.\u00a0 The little voice asks, Does anybody know me?\u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
I startle at the question and reply gently through the cold, metal door with a smile, No, I’m sorry I don’t think I know you.<\/i><\/p>\n
Oh, ok, <\/i>the little girl <\/i>answers brightly.\u00a0 I’m in kindergarten.\u00a0 <\/i>And just like that, she’s on her way.<\/p>\n
There it is.\u00a0 The question we’re all asking deep inside.\u00a0 DOES ANYBODY KNOW ME?<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n
For thirty seven years I hid “the real me” behind a mask of achievement, perfection, and control.\u00a0 I only let you see the me I wanted you to see. I didn’t acknowledge that there was a “real me” on the inside.\u00a0 Her memories were too messy, her emotions too raw.\u00a0 She was wounded and imperfect and scared.\u00a0 It was easier to pretend that girl <\/i>didn’t exist.<\/p>\n
The thing is, the pretending only works for so long.\u00a0 Eventually the truth finds it’s way to the light no matter how hard you stomp it down.\u00a0 It’s painful, unexpected, raw, and it held me hostage for six long months.\u00a0 A dark night of the soul.\u00a0 Fear.\u00a0 Anxiety.\u00a0 Insomnia.\u00a0 Depression.\u00a0 A life clawing to stay still and familiar even as the river of life swirled with currents that would not be calmed.<\/p>\n
I recently read that the greek root of the word crisis <\/i>means to sift.\u00a0 <\/i>And that is where the river has led me.\u00a0 To a place where I’m sifting the memories, shaking the sand from my eyes and seeing this life anew.\u00a0 Though the sifting is hard, it is good. I’m in the cocoon now, waiting for the miracle.\u00a0 I know it’s coming, but it will not be a result of anything I’ve done or will do.\u00a0 And that’s the hard part to accept.\u00a0 Does anybody know me?\u00a0 <\/i>Yes, HE does.\u00a0 The One who was there in the beginning and whispered me into being.\u00a0 HE knows me and says the truth will set me free.\u00a0 <\/i>Perhaps one day I’ll even know the real me that He intended me to be.\u00a0 Please, let it be so…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I hear small feet skipping in and see a pair of brightly colored sneakers enter the bathroom stall next to me.\u00a0 Unexpected words are spoken into the stillness of a school bathroom.\u00a0 The little voice asks, Does anybody know me?\u00a0\u00a0 I startle at the question and reply gently through the cold, metal door with a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":53676,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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