{"id":782,"date":"2015-10-07T20:45:56","date_gmt":"2015-10-08T01:45:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.seekingthestill.com\/?p=782"},"modified":"2019-08-26T23:21:23","modified_gmt":"2019-08-27T04:21:23","slug":"day-7-keeper-of-the-secrets-and-the-stones","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-7-keeper-of-the-secrets-and-the-stones\/","title":{"rendered":"Day 7: Keeper of the Secrets and the Stones"},"content":{"rendered":"

Patrick Kennedy breaks the silence on mental health and addiction<\/a>. He told the secrets – it all comes down to that. \u00a0The\u00a0walls I build\u00a0are thick with these hushed words. I am the best keeper of secrets. \u00a0My loyalty and responsibility require it. I would fit in well with the Kennedy clan, you see. Your secrets are safe with me.<\/p>\n

But what about MY\u00a0secrets? \u00a0Who do\u00a0I trust with those?<\/p>\n

For\u00a0the better part of my life, the answer was no one, for\u00a0I know that most do not keep secrets well. So, I kept mine. \u00a0I carried a backpack\u00a0filled with secret stones. I saved\u00a0my feelings and my stories and your feelings and your stories. \u00a0I loaded\u00a0them in my backpack, all of them, and carried\u00a0them where I knew they were safe. With me.<\/p>\n

Eventually, though, I stumbled. \u00a0My bag was too full. I kept trying to store the feelings and the secrets, mashing them, bashing them into the bag until I\u00a0broke with the weight of it all. I fell to my knees. And I finally had to deal with them. One by one, in the safe net of therapy, I spoke them aloud. Sometimes reluctantly. Sometimes in a torrent. Some rocks were bigger than others. Some I didn’t even know I had. And some I keep taking back to this day. It’s not easy to let them go. On my own, I can not live burden free.\u00a0But I’m learning I don’t have to…<\/p>\n

Exhausted doesn\u2019t do justice to the state of my mind that April 14. \u00a0My body tight with anxiety and fatigue, my soul weary from trying, and my mind wiped. \u00a0I lay on my back and breathed. \u00a0In for 5, out for 10. \u00a0As my body relaxed, so did my mind. \u00a0God reached straight down and offered me the greatest gift of my life. \u00a0He whispered to my heart. \u00a0<\/span>This is not your fault, darling. \u00a0You didn\u2019t do anything to make this happen, my love. \u00a0Let me say it one more time in case you missed it….This is not your fault. \u00a0You didn\u2019t cause yourself not to sleep. \u00a0You didn\u2019t cause yourself to break down. \u00a0There\u2019s nothing you can do to fix yourself. \u00a0Only I can do that. \u00a0Let go of the guilt and the blame, beloved. \u00a0Trust me. \u00a0Let me do all the work. \u00a0You\u2019ve been the one hanging on, wearing a backpack filled with stones. \u00a0Take out each\u00a0one and place it on my shoulders. \u00a0Go ahead, try it and see.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Stone\u00a0one…guilt. \u00a0I saw myself grasp the big, heavy rock and gently place it on Jesus\u2019 shoulders. \u00a0When I looked up it had shrunk to a pebble. \u00a0<\/span>Come to me all you who are weary and I will give your rest. \u00a0My yoke is easy and my burden is light. \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

I grabbed the next rock…shame. \u00a0As with the previous, I placed in on the shoulders of my beloved Savior and a weight lifted. \u00a0I did the same with Sleep, Anxiety, Stress, Fear. All the secrets. On and on, these heavy burdens became light on Jesus\u2019 shoulders. \u00a0And for the first time in a year, I felt healing. \u00a0True healing, not an excited burst of hope from the latest meditation or book promising the magic cure. \u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

This healing, this releasing of the secrets and stones, is\u00a0slow and messy, but it is\u00a0coming. \u00a0It is coming from the only One strong enough to lift\u00a0them all away<\/span>. \u00a0<\/span><\/em>From the \u00a0moment\u00a0the stone rolled away that first Easter morning, Jesus began taking my secret stones. \u00a0He will take your stones, too. Let’s let\u00a0Him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"31days\"<\/a>This series is not a tidy story of a fairy tale life. \u00a0It is\u00a0messy and truthful. \u00a0For 31 days, I will share pieces\u00a0of my journey, practical coping techniques for dealing with anxiety, spiritual insights,\u00a0emotional struggles, and a whole lot of other. \u00a0I will likely\u00a0\u00a0jump from here to there as the Spirit leads. \u00a0I invite you along\u00a0as\u00a0I share\u00a0my experience, my strength, and my hope. Thank you for being part of this journey with me. \u00a0Together, we shall seek the still.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Patrick Kennedy breaks the silence on mental health and addiction. He told the secrets – it all comes down to that. \u00a0The\u00a0walls I build\u00a0are thick with these hushed words. I am the best keeper of secrets. \u00a0My loyalty and responsibility require it. I would fit in well with the Kennedy clan, you see. Your secrets […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":784,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-782","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith"],"yoast_head":"\nDay 7: Keeper of the Secrets and the Stones - Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-7-keeper-of-the-secrets-and-the-stones\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Day 7: Keeper of the Secrets and the Stones - Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Patrick Kennedy breaks the silence on mental health and addiction. 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