{"id":841,"date":"2015-10-14T18:13:29","date_gmt":"2015-10-14T23:13:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.seekingthestill.com\/?p=841"},"modified":"2020-08-17T15:26:54","modified_gmt":"2020-08-17T20:26:54","slug":"day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Will the Real Laura Please Stand Up?"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

I look in the mirror, yet\u00a0who do\u00a0I see? My mask is down and my is\u00a0truth out.<\/p>\n

I write and write and write on the page, the flurry of my hand cannot keep pace with the fears and feelings set free. The little girl who kept it all in, who put on a brave face, is standing up to say\u00a0It’s now my time.\u00a0<\/em>It’s my time to be angry and my time to be sad. It’s my time to feel loss and betrayal. It’s my time to feel insecure and small.<\/p>\n

I write the words I would have said. I scream the cries I once silenced. I gather the memories and sift them through with a\u00a0new lens. This lens makes it ok, healthy even, to question and defy.\u00a0There is nobody to please. No one to judge. I can rage\u00a0why? why? why?\u00a0<\/em>I fall to my knees, tears finally\u00a0pooling at my feet.<\/p>\n

I give it to God and give it to God, and give it to God, again. I let Him give me new eyes to look back and see. New ears to look back and hear. At times I feel Him\u00a0close, other times I beg Him to draw near.<\/p>\n

The pieces of my life surround me. On every side, I see them. I\u00a0think the whole of me is there, shattered. In the beginning I clutch the pieces close. I hold them so tight that they pierce me with their jagged edge. I turn them over, one by one, and pray to see their truth. I no longer deny. I know.\u00a0I see it now. There is both dark and light within me. I let it sink in. Dark and light. Lies and truth. My mask, my memories, and me.<\/p>\n

I begin to understand that I cannot put these pieces back together. I try. I really try. I research and read. I bury myself with techniques and tools, but the pieces remain. I remain broken. My own hands, my own will, are unable to fit the pieces back. The old Laura is gone and the new Laura awaits somewhere beyond the horizon. I am in between the dreaming and coming true.<\/p>\n

This place is not wasteland, it is sacred space. It is waiting. It is learning I must let her go. The stages of grief work as I bury\u00a0the old me, and turn. I turn my face toward the new. In surrender, I know the miracle waits. It unfolds before me.<\/p>\n

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with the God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.\u00a0<\/em>– John 1:1-5<\/p>\n

Did you hear it? The miracle? I was there in the beginning. You were there in the beginning. The real Laur<\/em>a existed before this body was made and will exist when this earthly shell is no more. That is the miracle. I had it all backwards. I thought this life was the point and it almost broke me because I am broken. As a human, I have light and dark within me. But the truth\u00a0is beauty…read these words\u00a0until they\u00a0rest upon your soul.<\/p>\n

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Do you even know what this means? It means the pain and the struggle are\u00a0temporary. The pressure is off. It means I can live this life in freedom from my past and with glorious hope toward the future. And in between I have today. His mercies are new every morning.\u00a0This life. This gift. One day at a time. Me and the divine. Yesterday. Today. Forever.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  I look in the mirror, yet\u00a0who do\u00a0I see? My mask is down and my is\u00a0truth out. I write and write and write on the page, the flurry of my hand cannot keep pace with the fears and feelings set free. The little girl who kept it all in, who put on a brave face, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":844,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,129],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-841","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anxiety","category-purpose"],"yoast_head":"\nWill the Real Laura Please Stand Up? - Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Will the Real Laura Please Stand Up? - Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"  I look in the mirror, yet\u00a0who do\u00a0I see? My mask is down and my is\u00a0truth out. I write and write and write on the page, the flurry of my hand cannot keep pace with the fears and feelings set free. The little girl who kept it all in, who put on a brave face, […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/SeekTheStill\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-10-14T23:13:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-08-17T20:26:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Who-Am-I-.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"315\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Fleetwood\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Fleetwood\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Fleetwood\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/#\/schema\/person\/6549628b6ee8cba534996cf08ef52472\"},\"headline\":\"Will the Real Laura Please Stand Up?\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-10-14T23:13:29+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-08-17T20:26:54+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/\"},\"wordCount\":677,\"commentCount\":2,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Who-Am-I-.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Anxiety\",\"Purpose\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/\",\"name\":\"Will the Real Laura Please Stand Up? - Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Who-Am-I-.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-10-14T23:13:29+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-08-17T20:26:54+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/#\/schema\/person\/6549628b6ee8cba534996cf08ef52472\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Who-Am-I-.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Who-Am-I-.jpg\",\"width\":560,\"height\":315},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Will the Real Laura Please Stand Up?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/\",\"name\":\"Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood\",\"description\":\"WHERE OVERWHELMED WOMEN RECLAIM PEACE AND FINALLY LEARN TO LIVE FREE.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/#\/schema\/person\/6549628b6ee8cba534996cf08ef52472\",\"name\":\"Laura Fleetwood\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1c4117247b5c8e7bb431003fdd30d813c591ed54a4967ce5caf2540f7a49d660?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1c4117247b5c8e7bb431003fdd30d813c591ed54a4967ce5caf2540f7a49d660?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1c4117247b5c8e7bb431003fdd30d813c591ed54a4967ce5caf2540f7a49d660?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Laura Fleetwood\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.seekingthestill.com\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Will the Real Laura Please Stand Up? - Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Will the Real Laura Please Stand Up? - Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood","og_description":"  I look in the mirror, yet\u00a0who do\u00a0I see? My mask is down and my is\u00a0truth out. I write and write and write on the page, the flurry of my hand cannot keep pace with the fears and feelings set free. The little girl who kept it all in, who put on a brave face, […]","og_url":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/","og_site_name":"Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/SeekTheStill\/","article_published_time":"2015-10-14T23:13:29+00:00","article_modified_time":"2020-08-17T20:26:54+00:00","og_image":[{"width":560,"height":315,"url":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Who-Am-I-.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Laura Fleetwood","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Laura Fleetwood","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/"},"author":{"name":"Laura Fleetwood","@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/#\/schema\/person\/6549628b6ee8cba534996cf08ef52472"},"headline":"Will the Real Laura Please Stand Up?","datePublished":"2015-10-14T23:13:29+00:00","dateModified":"2020-08-17T20:26:54+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/"},"wordCount":677,"commentCount":2,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Who-Am-I-.jpg","articleSection":["Anxiety","Purpose"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/","url":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/","name":"Will the Real Laura Please Stand Up? - Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Who-Am-I-.jpg","datePublished":"2015-10-14T23:13:29+00:00","dateModified":"2020-08-17T20:26:54+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/#\/schema\/person\/6549628b6ee8cba534996cf08ef52472"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Who-Am-I-.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Who-Am-I-.jpg","width":560,"height":315},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/day-14-will-the-real-laura-please-stand-up\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Will the Real Laura Please Stand Up?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/#website","url":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/","name":"Seeking The Still with Dr. Laura Fleetwood","description":"WHERE OVERWHELMED WOMEN RECLAIM PEACE AND FINALLY LEARN TO LIVE FREE.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/jfz.xeo.mybluehost.me\/website_e02ce2c0\/#\/schema\/person\/6549628b6ee8cba534996cf08ef52472","name":"Laura Fleetwood","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1c4117247b5c8e7bb431003fdd30d813c591ed54a4967ce5caf2540f7a49d660?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1c4117247b5c8e7bb431003fdd30d813c591ed54a4967ce5caf2540f7a49d660?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1c4117247b5c8e7bb431003fdd30d813c591ed54a4967ce5caf2540f7a49d660?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Laura Fleetwood"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/www.seekingthestill.com"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/841","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=841"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/841\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":53582,"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/841\/revisions\/53582"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/844"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=841"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=841"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldseekingthestill.com\/website_e02ce2c0\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=841"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}